If you're as passionate about both corn mazes and Sarah Palin as I am, it's been an agonizing couple of weeks for you. You've had to either stay in and repeatedly watch the Sarahcuda rise to the challenge of Sean Hannity's tough but fair questions as her interview loops on Fox News Classic, or venture outdoors in search of exhilarating, entertaining, fun-for-ages-8-to-88 corn mazes. But not both.
Thanks to the fine folks over the fine folks over at the Obee Road Corn Maze of Whitehouse, OH, you no longer have to make that choice. Based on a 100-0 (+-0%) lead in corn visages, I am now prepared to call Ohio for McCain-Palin 37 days ahead of time, just as I called Florida three weeks ago after 13,000 superfans in the student section of the FSU/Eastern Carolina showdown spontaneously began chanting "U! S! A!" and to a lesser extent, "Drill, baby, drill*."
In other news, if America is not a smoldering pile of wreckage before 2011, National Treasure 3 is waiting for us there. I think we need to make it a goal to prop up the economy until then by whatever pyramid scheme, credit default, or door-to-door knife sales necessary. After we watch Benajmin Gates find the mythical Ranch of Dressing as writ on Page 47 of the Book of Secrets, we can admit we've had a good run as a country and pack it in, but Dammit! Not before then.
*Somewhat misleading, as I tried to start this one.
1 comment:
You know, I can actually see Russia in that corn maze.
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